Put a cover over that dim light it's out (Week One) Pour my pain in a dirty glass!

I'm sweating but I'm cold, the tremors won't stop, Chad is that you are you talking to me?, No baby I can't get out of bed the room is spinning too much, ouch it hurts everywhere, no I don't want to harm myself but death would be a better alternative to how I feel right now, this feeling in my brain that I can't describe, so dizzy, please just let me sleep, what it's tomorrow already? how long have I been sleeping?, wait I think I'm going to throw up, oh so dizzy please turn off the lights, wait what?, I'm so confused.............................

I like this definition of a brain shiver found in the link bellow.

"Mostly it's annoying. but if you really want to know what it is like, spin around and around real fast for a minute or two, then stop and try to stand up. For added effect, taste a 9-volt battery or touch the chassis of an improperly-grounded appliance as soon as you stop spinning"...............from..............

http://depression.about.com/cs/venlafaxine/a/brainshivers_2.htm

So what I'm describing is not crack withdrawal (I've never actually experienced that but I image it's close) that is my first week not taking Effexor. The entire reason I started this blog was all about taking me back. I've been on a roller coaster, if you don't believe me go back and read my randomness. Part of this journey is getting off anti-anxiety/anti-depressant medicine. Ok so about six months ago I decided that I didn't need to take the medicine anymore so I started a VERY SLOW weening process all in the midst of my dad passing away, quitting my job and moving across the country. I never said I was smart, funny maybe, but not smart ;-). So finally my current doctor has had enough because for some reason I was having slight withdrawal symptoms before my next dose was even due, fucking horrible. It would be only half way through my day and what Effexor suffers like to call brain shivers (attempt to describe above) would hit me out of no where. So my doctor finds this pristiq (fuck me we'll get to that later but I was so desperate give me crack) and boom no more effexor and now I'm on pristiq.

The first few days weren't too bad, little did I know I was on a hyper manic that I've never experienced and boom I crashed DAY THREE like an elephant walking over an ant hill. I lost two days of my life in a tremble and sweat filled nightmare. Ok so now day six, hmmm I can communicate and I can walk. I still have massive vertigo and dizziness, the doctor finally gave me something for that today. My eyes feel weird like someone is moving them for me so I struggle to look anyone in the eye. No, that doesn't appear strange at all?!? I'm all geeked out sorda on that hyper manic side again.

I did some research and thank god I'm not alone ;-0! So now I'm and advocate for anti-Effexor as I take it's best friend pristiq. I'll get into that later. Here is another web site, I love the Internet.

http://theeffexoractivist.org/

Ok, so the bright side I'm able to drive, semi function at work just can't look you in the eye. I read to exercise till the point of exhaustion which is funny because when my panic attacks started oh 10 years ago that was what my therapist said. Hey excuse me mr/mrs boss person I'm having a panic attack I need to go exercise is that ok I need to leave my job doctor's orders!?! Fuck that I'm already exhausted, being me is exhausting so the exercise thing I already do and it's not made it any better. Just getting my ass out of bed right now is exercise, typing this fucking blog is exercise. My apparently withdrawal causes cursing too!