Thursday, August 7, 2008
Marriage tradition, do I change my name
So I'm having an identity dilemma. I don't know whether to change my last name when I get married. Do I change the name completely, do I make it both which would be really really long or do I just keep my name. I'm not sure why this is so confusing to me, I like the idea of having my kids have the same last name as me which would be my husbands. However, I feel like I'm losing a piece of myself talking his name? Does a woman lose her identity when she becomes Mrs. blank blank? Sometimes her name is dropped off completely oh that would bother me. I have advanced degrees in my maiden name so should I keep the name. Am I feeling sentimental cause I lost my dad and that seems like my only keepsake? Hmmm, this decision was a no brainer, take his name until it came time to write the words on paper with no turning back. Now I'm freaking! Is it because I want people to find me on face book, lol, no seriously. His last name if fine, it's not gross or long or silly or anything I just don't know if I'm ready to give up mine. It's been with me 33 years and I've grown quite fond of it, hmm I just don't know what to do?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
first of all, welcome to the blog world!!
for me, powell was my previous married name-and the last name I had prior to getting married to Jason because I never bothered to change it after my divorce- so I was happy to leave that aside. And I was excited to take Jason's name as I was excited to whole heartedly create a partnership. Not that taking a name makes the partnership-but for me it was one more symbol.
BUT, I wanted to honor my family too and take my maiden name back in some way so I made it my middle name. that works for me.
It's such an individual decision that it's hard to say anything, one way or the other.
Go with your gut. A name isn't an identity. It's a label. In that respect, you should call yourself whatever pleases you.
~*
Hi there! Oh my goodness I could have WRITTEN this! I am 33, getting married and in a complete mess about whether or not to change my name. I feel like if I had been 18 when I got married, fair enough - but I have been this name for 33 years - it's who I am... it's SO tricky!! What ARE you going to do??
FYI - I got here via Brandi :)
I've been thinking about this recently as well. For me, it's slightly different because my Dad and I aren't close and I don't really want his last name (my parents have been divorced for 18 years). I don't like my fiance's last name because it looks like the word "slime." I'll change it, but I want to spell it differently!
I didn't have a dilemma changing my surname, because I felt closer to my husband's family anyway, but if you've lost your Dad and its a link,as well as the other things you've mentioned I'd keep it. The fact that you are undecided means I'd be thinking "when in doubt-don't".You like your surname.I didn't like mine.It's an individual thing. Do what doesn't give you a sense of loss.And whoo hoo!Welcome to the blog world by the way!(came here via Brandi).
Oh my gosh, I have no idea. I think you are right if I were 18 I wouldn't feel so connected to my name. Shit I don't know.
Hi,
Just been pondering that myself and have decided to take his name. I felt like I would be giving up my identity and individuality or something if I changed my name but then one day someone addressed me as "Mrs X(my maiden name)" And that was strange. Thats my mothers name! I like being a Miss X, but a Mrs X is Strange! So Ive decided to take his name and it feels right to me. Im looking forward to being a Mrs Y!
I was also thinking, as Brandi said, of making my current last name my second middle name, just so it stays with me for sentimental reasons.
Wow long comment!
Post a Comment